When Boyfriend 5.0 turns to Husband 1.0 !

Recently i came across a funny forward i would like to share with you guys.

A woman wrote to a Tech support guy.

Dear Tech Support, last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and I noticed a distinct slowdown in the overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as
Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as  NEWS 5.0,   MONEY 3.0  and SPORTS 4.1. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, andHousecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.
What can I do?

Signed,
_______ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________

She receives a Reply

Dear Madam, first, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme. Html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.
If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.
However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default toSilence 2.5 or Beer 6.1.
Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.
Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)
In addition, please do NOT attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.
In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.
You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance.
We recommend:  Cooking 3.0 and  Good Looks 7.7.

My current least favorite word 'Marriage'

I am 30. I am happily not married, Single by choice. Recently my parents have been on a mission to get me married. Since my upbringing dominates my western outlook, I am more pulled towards arranged marriage concept. It doesn't mean i have negative perception towards love marriage. But i often wonder if the 'Marriage' kills the 'love'.  Though the concept of  discovering a girl in arrange marriage sounds exciting, Trust me its like a Circus. You see a lot of clowns before you get to the interesting act.

In arranged marriage people u meet always present their best feet forward , But sometimes what you see is what you don't get.Why go through the melodrama.Relationship takes its own sweet time to blend in to our lives to decide if you can spend lives happily together.The process of Arrange marriage is like job interviews where you and the other party exchange their  likes and expectations.I mean its such a mechanical process,there is not a chance for emotion.Then how in the world is one to decide a relationship of a lifetime based on such mechanical processes.

I have never regretted an independent decision made.then heck, this is matter of life!I think marriage is a union of rejoicing each other company for a lifetime than a reaction of some hormones that are screaming for act of Sex and you give it a legal approval of marriage….!! Quality relationship deserves quality time to grow than rush in to societal  pressures and the so called  marriageable age.What the heck is this marriageable age?I am shouldering professional responsibities but how emotionally matured am i to get into an alliance and stay committed for a lifetime.Its a big decision of my life and not something that can be rushed  in matter of days.

More of R.K Laxman

A-Z kannada Slangs!

Found the below pic online. Reminded me of all the slang words i came 
across from high school till date. If you guys remember any funny slangs, Post it.

 Few more to added from my behalf
 Bombat : Incredible
 Sak'kat : Awesome
 Topi : Got cheated
 Chatri : No1 fraud 
 Adjust : Anytime you are caught on the wrong foot use this word 
 Kirik : Mess
 Magane : Anybody (Male) who does not keep in touch!!!
 Lo  : Anybody (Male) who keeps in touch always
 Madam : Any girl who becomes a friend thus putting an end to any mischief   you want to     commit
 Chitranna : To be used with Chindi. It means had a gala time
 Maj'A : Fun. To be used with Sakkat depending on the amount of fun you had
 Jai Aagu : Fully disapper
 Yenne : Liquor (Not oil!)

Cheers! "The Wall"

All you cricket fans must be updated on this news. India's middle order pillar for
the past couple of decades and aptly Named "The wall", Rahul Dravid announced 
his retirement  from all forms of the game. It must not have been easy for the legend 
hanging his bat whose career spanned over 16yrs.


Raising a toast to Dravid  for all his contribution to this country's Cricket. 
Happy retirement !

How to know if "He" is the "One" or a "Creep"

I am not an expert on "The Ladies" but i know No girl would like to have a
creepy guy behind their backs?For my female friends, Follow the tips below
to keep the creeps far away!

1. When the guy starts liking all your profile pictures. Its so weird, It's like
    saying " Hey i don't need to talk to you, But i am lusting for your body from
    a distance".

2. When the dude calls you the "ONE" just after a date or a day after he
     added you to his friends list after noticing 2 common friends. Lame!
     Hit him where it hurts.

3. If he proposes to you over a Voice mail/Email/Text messages. And when you
    don't respond if he is still trying to convince himself "She is busy"  or "she
    might have left her phone home", Tell him its time to Move on.

4. When he brags, brags and brags some more, Slap the idiot in the face and
    make him realize No girl is sitting at home waiting for Prince charming to ride
    upto her and tell her how much his Boxer's Cost.

I could go on..But these are the most common things that guys do to creep their
girls out.

If any guys reading this, Don't ever commit the above sins. Be yourself, Be funny,
be nice and genuinely caring. And if you still don't get your princess, Go hit a Pub:-)!

   

    

"Porn"itics

I have no clue as to why a sudden fuss about Ministers watching Porn in Assembly.
Our current government is no stranger to sex scandals. If one recalls the infamous
State Ministers Hartal halappa and Renukacharya scandals.For those who are
unaware let me brief you on their sexual escapades.

Hartal Halappa:

Venkateshmurthy a shimoga resident, recorded visuals of halappa attempting to 

rape his wife when he stayed with the couple on a visit. I thing i could not
comprehend is why in the fuck was the husband recording than making an attempt
to get the minister off of his wife.

Renukacharya:
Minister Renukacharya allegedly issued death threats to nurse L A Jayalaskshmi after
news papers splashed pictures of their intimate relationships.

So the news did not come as a surprise to me. Personally i could not control my
 laughter. How funny are our elected ministers?  Especially the excuses from them
saying they were watching and mourning at woman's human right being violated.

"Women and child development minister is one among those guilty fucks" Just amazing!!

After all the hype and hoopla we are indians we watch and we move on. Some are just
sad that the channels morphed those video scenes. We shouldn't talk about it as
it is a shame for us as well. After all we are the ones who elect these bastards!!

Short of Words Today!

I usually write on this blog exactly what I'm thinking, but today I am 
just filled with sorrow for some good friends of mine. I believed these 
two people are one of the happy people I know and were true testament 
to what it means to be happy. Life changes!


Aditya and Sudheer got married. PERIOD

Joke of the day -" Indian Cricket team "

A guy walks into a brothel and says "I'm a bit kinky, how much for total humiliation?"


The prostitute replies "Rs. 500."


"Wow, what do I get for that?" he asks.


She says: "A Blue cap and an Indian Cricket XI shirt."


Yes, it's very funny.


But with a huge factual error.


I'd like to know which brothel would give me an Indian test shirt for Rs 500.


Just when they thought we were world champions!!
There really is nowhere to hide.

Our booze sessions best defined!